And you thought 'Episode I' sucked....

Well, I have just finished watching the Star Wars Holiday Special. (I am quite aware that most of you have never even heard of this disaster in the Star Wars archives.) I was one of those who started watching it 29 years ago and was forced to shut it off by an older brother who thought that it was too stupid to watch....

So, for 29 years I have wondered what I had missed. For about 15 years, I was totally in the dark and actually slightly bitter at my brother - then, thanks to the Internet, geeks around the world began to circulate this awful show on VHS - discussing how awful it was and telling stories of how horribly drunk the cast was.

This year I actually met somebody who admitted to owning a copy. And against my better judgement, I talked him into letting me see it. I have to say that it didn't live down to the awful standard that had proceeded it. I wouldn't say that I actually enjoyed it - but I understand why my brother shut it off. And I understand why it only aired once. And I understand why George Lucas wants to hunt down every bootleg copy of it and destroy it. (To his defense, George's name was nowhere near the credits.)

It is a typical 70s holiday special set in the Star Wars universe. There are lots of other stars doing song and dance numbers. But since it was in a galaxy far far away, there was no Christ for Christmas and so all of the songs were cheesey, new-agey "Life Day" songs. And in typical 70s holiday special style, there was a very disjointed and stupid story line kind of holding the whole thing together. (Sorry, I'm running out of appropriate adjectives here)

I think that the worse part was that the center of action was Chewbacca's family (wife, son and father) and there were no subtitles - just random grunts followed by signs and jestures so that the audience could sort of follow the plot, if they so desired. They could have shortened to whole thing to one hour (yes, shortened - from about two full hours without commercials) by using subtitles. Also to add to character development, they showed some features of the Wookee home and "Life Day presents" which, if removed, could have shortened it to maybe 15 minutes - which is about all it is worth. And a 15 minute show isn't really worth watching, so save yourself some time.

Truly a great argument against non-religious celebration of religious holidays, broadcast television, and drinking.

Thanks Tone

Star Wars - Limited Edition

There seems to be quite a stink amongst the geeks about the latest release of Star Wars. So, I thought I'd weigh in...

I have IV and V, and VI will be on my Christmas list. I am one of those people who loved Star Wars, but never really got into the merchandizing side. I've never owned a light saber and all the toys that I have, I got as gifts. The only purchases I have are the Burger King Ep. III collection and the Ep. I Pepsi can collection.

I didn't have the original VHS tapes, but I have the Special Edition VHS, and the prequel and digitally remastered DVDs. So, I always sort of wondered how much got changed in the Special Edition. Now I know... Those who already have the first run of VHS (or, better yet, the original Laser Disks) really don't need to buy these - unless the VHS tapes are showing wear and tear or their laser disk player has died.

I, for one, like the new release. As advertised, it is untouched. Anybody expecting really cool special features will be sadly disappointed, but no special features were advertised. Anybody expection the Special Edition without the digital effects will be sadly disappointed, but again, "untouched originals" is what was advertised. Sorry.

My only real disappointment with the new series is that it was packaged with the digitally remastered DVDs - you get both the new and the old DVDs. So, now I'm the proud owner of two sets of the "digitally remastered". Oh well, they'll make great Christmas presents for someone...

Baby's first Star Wars quote...

OK - so we all know that she was quoting her daddy quoting his favorite Han Solo line. But I couldn't have been more proud.

Last night at dinner, I asked her if she wanted more chicken for dinner she just looked at me with a confused look on her face and simply said "It's me!"

It's an obscure quote, I know, but hey - it's me!

Reminiscing Star Wars

So, it's late... or maybe it's a few weeks early :) Anyway, I spent some time today thinking about my favorite comment made by an Episode III viewer and the lamest comment made by an Episode III viewer. I will not use their real names as I want to save both of them some dignity.... (If their names hit the comments there's nothing I can do about that... *wink* )

Favorite:

This person knew that I was a Star Wars fan and had just seen Episode III (and had never seen any of the others). Suddenly very excited about the movies, he asked me which he should see next. Should he start with I and II or go for IV, V, and VI. Although I like I and II more than anybody else I know, I, of course, had to say IV. Of course he asked what the title of it was (which of course insued a philosophical debate within myself). But then he also wanted to know what the names of the other five were. I told him the names in episode order. When I got to Episode VI, he exclaimed:

RETURN OF THE JEDI?!?!!! They come back how COOL is that! I thought they were gone for sure!


Lamest:

This person seemed to be very intersted in seeing Episode III as he was the organizer of the gathering (which happened to be the 4th time that I saw it). He is also a BIG movie fan, so he's obviously able to suspend reality for a while - I mean he liked The Matrix. Anyway - I digress, we're all coming out of the theater talking about what we liked about the movie.... And he can't say anything positive.... I gave up arguing with him when he said:

What was up with the twins? Wasn't it just a little too "convenient" that they had two kids?

Where can you possibly go with that statement? "Have you seen Star Wars?" "You realize that these are 'prequels' right?" "OH MY! THAT MEANS THAT VADER IS LUKE'S FATHER!!!!"